Life isn't always fair. But we should be grateful that it's happening the way it should be.
I am a 25-year old lady. Single, sort-of-the-bread winner, and full of what if's. I have found myself to be the kind of person who is pessimistic, realist and always thinking that there is always "that second choice". I have made quite big decisions that made a huge impact on my life. I went to college and took up Information Technology instead of the trending course of Nursing. I went to Singapore despite the fact that my gut feeling was against it.
For me, I have lived my life well. Although, people will always talk about things, most especially, that I went to give up working in Singapore. For a lot of people, it was a chance of a lifetime. Well, I tried that chance, but it really didn't work for me, or, I just didn't worked that hard. But I trust my decision. That place will always be there, no matter what I do, it is there.
We do have a lot of doubts in life. What if I did this? What if I chose that? What if I went to? What if's! There's a lot of them. I try to answer them as much as I can. And every time I do, a part of it are regrets and success. When you feel you've regretted what you do, then by all means, feel it for a couple of months. I mean, most people would either blame you for what you did, or, they tell you "no regrets". For me, if you feel to have regretted what you have done, then do feel that sensation, BUT, don't let it linger for too long. A couple of days, weeks, months, will pass, if you still feel it, FORGIVE YOURSELF. And with God's blessing, after you've woke up from a good night's sleep, you will feel relieved, replenished, and ready to go for another adventure.
Since I've already mentioned about my work in Singapore, I readily accept the fact, that I did regret leaving my previous company prior to my departure to the said country. I tested the waters with both feet. Yes! Both! This is in contrary to the saying, "Don't test the water with both feet". But for a couple of months after coming back here in Cebu, I still did regret it a lot. I felt relieved when I forgave myself. I understood how God wanted me to try things. I understood that it was really meant to happen. He let me feel that I was already very lucky to have things beforehand. That it was enough. That I had too much and he just wanted me to lay low. At first, I said a lot about life being unfair, how come I'm not that, how come I don't have that, how come I belong to a family of poor people. Yes! The words are tough and too hard to handle, but I really did say them. But you know what?! I'm still grateful. Grateful, that in spite of what had happen, I still have my family, my mom, sister, and brother, who were happy when I got home(but a little dismayed because I don't have a huge salary anymore), my boyfriend, who welcomed me very much, my Aunt, who was really proud of what I have done and achieved. I am grateful that I tested the water with both feet, because it made me realize, no matter how deep the ocean was, I can swim back towards the surface.
Life isn't fair. But it's worth the ride.
